If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize