from now on my penis is your penis
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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