the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The air was thick with penises
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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