I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
