Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
