I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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