How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize