The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
