I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
