So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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