Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
