belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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