i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
