what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
