I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
