WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
