i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize