I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
