I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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