vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
