Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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