Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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