party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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