Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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