You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
