He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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