By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize