they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
