I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
