we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
