Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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