So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
