the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
