Did you just see the Batmobile???
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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