just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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