when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize