If i come over, it means nothing
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
