Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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