Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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