Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
