hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
