i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
