Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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