I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
vagina is talking i cant
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
