Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
