Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
