you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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