Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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