mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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