Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
