just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
