R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
