do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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