She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
