why didn't you poke me back
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
