Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
