He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
