Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
True strength comes from lack of pants
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
