No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
