I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize