We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
