addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
