When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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