I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
